Baby Blues
by katkin
Summary: Sirius: 'I do believe, Lily Evans Hyphen Potter, that you are with child' Lily has some good news for her 'four' husbands! Crazy humor!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Ahoy there! This is a random Marauder/Lily 3-parter fic set post-Hogwarts. This chapter was basically me just getting to grips with Lily's relationships between each of the individual Marauders. Chapters 2 and 3 are the main bulk of the story. Not my best piece of work, as I wrote it all in one evening. Please review and let me know what you think: good or bad :)

Summary: "I do believe Lily Potter Hyphen Evans...that you are with child!" Lily Potterhas somegood news to her 'four' husbands.

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It was an early December afternoon and Lily Potter sat alone at the bar in The Leaky Cauldron. The height of her bar stool allowed her to rest her elbows on the bar casually as she stirred her orange juice absentmindedly with a straw. The young witch sighed and took another sip from her drink, glancing over at the door whenever she heard the bell on its jamb. On looking over her for the umpteenth time, she smiled as she saw her friend scan around the sparse pub and lay eyes on her. 

"Hi Lil, sorry I'm late. Meeting ran over," her friend Sarah said with an apologetic grin.

"Don't worry about it Saz, I've not been here long," the auburn haired witch lied, giving her friend a hug before hopping back onto her stool.

"What are you having?" Sarah asked, reaching for her coin-bag. Lily shook her head and lifted her orange juice slightly in indication.

"I'm fine. Thanks."

Sarah ordered lemonade and turned to observe her friend closely. She was older than Lily, by quite a few years, but Sarah had tutored Lily through her Auror training, and the witches now shared a cubicle together in the Ministry. Needless to say they had become rather close.

"So," Sarah breathed. "How are you feeling?"

Lily shrugged slightly, rolling her eyes in thought and giving a slight smile.

"I dunno. Nervous I guess."

"Does James know yet?" Sarah asked, and then accepted her drink from the bartender. Lily licked her lips and then shook her head. "Well, when are you going to tell him?"

"Oh, I dunno Saz. Tonight…maybe."

Sarah slumped her shoulders, obviously not impressed with the answer.

"I'm…worried how he'll take it, that's all. We didn't plan this." The witch looked down to her drink.

"But you're happy, right?" Sarah asked, lifting an eyebrow questioningly. Lily nodded instantly, looking back up to her friend with excited green eyes.

"Oh yes, of course I am. But we haven't been married long…I just wish we could have had more 'us' time, does that make sense?"

Sarah nodded, looking sympathetic. She patted Lily gently on the hand.

"You're going to make a great mother Lily," she told her, and Lily beamed. The bell rang and Lily looked over out of habit.

"Uh oh, keep quiet," she murmured and Sarah frowned.

"Why? Is it the husband?" her friend enquired lightly. Lily gave a sigh.

"One of them."

Remus Lupin spotted Lily on his way to the bar, and gave her a jovial smile.

"Good afternoon, Mrs Potter."

"Hello, Remus," she laughed. "How've you been?"

"Good, good. Yourself?" he asked and she nodded.

"Oh, sorry how rude of me. Sarah, this is Remus Lupin. Remus this is Sarah Vine." The strangers shook hands politely.

"I'm meeting Peter," Remus told them, feeling as if he were intruding on their get-together. "He's not here yet."

"Join us, Remus. Please." Lily smiled hopefully but the wizard shook his head.

Leaning across a vacant space on the bar, the man ordered a Butterbeer. _Just like Remus_, Lily thought with a grin. The simplest of things were often the most satisfying.

"Can I get either of you a drink?" he asked and the two witches shook their heads. "Well, if you're sure. I'd best be off. See you soon, Lil. Nice to meet you, Sarah." Remus gave a slight bow and shuffled off, leaving the women alone again.

"He seems nice," Sarah commented before taking a sip of her beverage. Lily nodded.

"Remus is lovely; a real gentleman. He's probably the one out of James' 'gang' that I get on with the most. He's had a tough life," she said sadly. "I just wish James was as knowledgeable as Remus sometimes. Hey maybe not even knowledgeable…common sense will do just fine." The two women laughed.

"And speaking of James…" Sarah prompted. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Ok, Saz. I'll tell him tonight. He's working the late shift at the office. But when he gets home I'll tell him. I promise," she said with a firm nod.

"Good. If you come into the office tomorrow and haven't told him then I'm telling him myself," Sarah warned with a laugh. "I don't see why you're putting it off. The man has a whole eight months to calm down and re-evaluate his life. For a man that should be plenty, especially James."

Lily suddenly looked over her friends shoulder and then shushed her with a hand as Sarah felt a presence behind her.

"Hello, Peter," Lily said with a smile.

"Ah, hello," the short, tubby man responded in a squeak. There was a pause of silence, in which, the three looked to each other expectantly.

"I'm here meeting Remus," Peter added. Lily nodded.

"He's over there."

"Ah, so I see," the man said timidly. He ordered a glass of Nettle Wine. "Can I get you…?" he pointed to their half-empty glass. Both women shook their heads.

"This is my friend Sarah, by the way," Lily spoke up. Peter nodded to her, and she waved slightly. "I, uh, I haven't seen you for a while Peter."

"I've been away," he told Lily. Her eyebrows rose in feigned interest.

"Oh, anywhere nice?" she enquired. Peter shook his head, and quickly accepted his drink.

"No not really," he told her. Lily frowned slightly at his abrupt answer. "Well, so long." He gave the women a curt nod and scuttled off to join Remus, who was waiting for him. Lily watched him go and then turned to her friend with a bemused expression on her face.

"That's Peter. He's a strange one a times. I've never really figured him out. He never seems to know whether he's coming or going…still, his heart's in the right place. And he's ever so friendly when he wants to be. It just takes a while to tune into his mood-of-the-moment. Know what I mean?"

Sarah nodded. "You sure have some strange husbands, Lily," she laughed.

"Too right!" Lily responded.

The women chatted for a while about children and motherhood, casting the odd glance over at James' friends. Lily was apprehensive, and Sarah was trying to be as supportive as she could. The woman had no children of her own; the Auror lifestyle often clashed with any plans to start a family. The witches had just finished their drinks and were considering buying another round when Lily gave a small groan and rolled her eyes.

"What?" Sarah asked curiously.

"Husband number four," she mumbled before raising her voice to greet the approaching man. "Hello, Sirius." Her tone was friendly, but had an underlying hint of tiresomeness, as if she spent too much time with the man.

"Well hello there," he greeted them with a grin. "What are a pair of lovely ladies such as yourselves doing in a place like this?"

"Drinking," Lily pointed out flatly and Sirius pouted. The witch gave a laugh. Sirius noticed their empty glasses, and his face lit up.

"So, you're getting another round…Buy us a drink?" He asked hopefully. Lily rolled her eyes and then caught the attention of the bartender.

"Can we get another lemonade and an orange please…" she gave a quick glance over her shoulder towards Sirius. "And a shot of Firewhiskey. No ice."

"Make that a double," Sirius sang. Lily gave a sigh. "Lemonade and orange?" he scoffed. "Please tell me they are mixers." When Lily shook her head, Sirius grimaced, and then decided to let it go…this time. "So Lils what are you up to today? Not at work I see? The real lady of luxury," he mocked and she scowled at him.

"Sirius, I'll have you know that this is my first proper day off in two months," she told him. Sirius cowered slightly under her tone. He decided to change the topic.

"So, who's your friend?" he asked Lily, though his eyes fell on Sarah.

"Sarah Vine, meet Sirius Black."

"Husband number four," he grinned proudly, shaking her hand over-enthusiastically. He let go of her hand and leaned in closer to her. "Hey, I don't suppose you–"

"No, Sirius she wouldn't," Lily cut in quickly and Sirius frowned at her.

"You don't know what I was going to ask!" he countered indignantly.

"Oh, I do Sirius. And she doesn't," Lily said firmly. Sirius pouted once more, in disappointment.

"Fine, spoil my fun," he mumbled and took his complementary drink from the bar. "Good day to you, Lily Potter! I see my friends over there are in dire need of some form of entertainment." And with that he waltzed off, leaving Lily laughing and Sarah blinking in mild disbelief.

The witches finished their second beverages and rose from their stools. Lily planned on doing a bit of shopping before returning to her home in Godric's Hollow. However, the witch really didn't feel like it, and decided to spend the rest of the day relaxing at home. The three Marauders hollered her as she headed to the door of the Inn. She frowned and shook her head as they beckoned her over-zealously. Rolling her eyes, she said a hurried goodbye to Sarah before crossing the pub floor to join them.

"Can I help you, gentlemen?" she asked mildly, placing her hands on her hips. The three men looked at each other, and then Sirius spoke up.

"Uh, are you doing anything tonight, Lily? Oh beauteous flower and radiant Goddess of both the Wizarding and Muggle world alike."

"Uh, no I don't think so," she replied, ignore Sirius' ramblings.

"Great! We're coming over for tea!" he told her; downing his drink and then leaning back to place his feet on the table. Remus and Peter grinned at her. Lily just blinked.

"Uh, well actually…"

"Seven is fine Lily. Don't forget Moony is going through another vegetarian phase." Lily's eyes landed on Remus who nodded eagerly. "See you then," Sirius added dismissively.

All Lily could do was walk away, wishing that she had been smart enough to make up plans. After all, it was the Marauders and she had known them for years. No, it was her own fault. She would have to put up with them as punishment. She cringed as she opened the door, feeling the autumn wind in her face. _Nice going Lily!_ Then again, it meant that she could put off telling James the 'news' for at least another day. Suddenly, tea with the Marauders didn't sound so bad.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Forgot to put a disclaimer on the first chappy: Harry Potter (that includes the fab four that is the Marauders!) does not belong to be, but belongs to JK Rowling and various other companies

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Lily had dosed off in front of her favourite Muggle soap opera. James always teased her for watching it, after all she was highly intellectual and did not need such trivial things to waste her valuable time on, but Lily insisted that it made her life feel more normal and allowed her to remember her Muggle-roots. James had shrugged; _Whatever, as long as I don't have to watch them with you!_

And so that evening, Lily had settled down with a throbbing head and churning stomach for her daily dose of far-fetched Muggle-ness. It was, indeed, trivial…and she had soon fallen asleep.

A loud knock came at the door, startling her awake.

"Helloooooo," came a familiar voice through the letterbox. Lily glanced at the clock, 19:03. She threw her head back and groaned before rising from the sofa. The witch straightened out her crumbled clothes as she headed to the door.

"Oi…it's getting cold!" called another voice, and Lily rolled her eyes.

"Any more cheek like that from you, Mr Pettigrew and you'll be stood out their all night," Lily said to the door as she fumbled with the chain. She opened the door widely to see the three bachelor-Marauders huddled together on her porch. They were wrapped up well in cloaks and scarves. Peter even had a sheepskin hat, with flaps to cover his ears. Remus wore gloves, and Sirius blew into his own bare hands for warmth.

"Hello," they sang in unison and Lily had to laugh. They reminded her so much of carol singers.

"Well? Let us in, Evans. I'm freezing my bollo– I mean tail off," Sirius said with a grin, and hurried past Lily into the warm, cosy house. Once inside, the wizards shrugged off their winter attire and made their way into the living room. Sirius plonked himself down heavily onto the sofa, where Lily had sat moments ago. He reached for the remote control (or the 'button baton' as he liked to call it) and flicked the channels casually. Peter and Remus took a seat either side of him. A catchy jingle began to play and the three men bobbed up and down to it, clearly amused. Lily watched them in a mixture of scepticism and fear.

"I…I'll go put the kettle on," she said. The men nodded but their eyes never left the screen. When Lily returned, a new advertisement was playing and the men were singing along, Sirius the loudest, though they were uncertain of the words.

"Wow," Peter breathed as the advert finished. "Did you see that broom? It was like something out of the space age!" Remus and Sirius nodded to him, also in awe. Lily shook her head.

"It's not a broom Peter, it's a vacuum cleaner," she told them as she batted Sirius' feet from the coffee table in front of him.

"Wow," the three wizards whispered together.

"So, what's for tea Lils?" Sirius asked, his stomach overcoming his wonder.

"Well, I was going to cook but I've not felt so good today." Remus shot her a look of concern, Peter pouted in sympathy but Sirius' jaw dropped almost in annoyance. "So, I thought I'd call for pizza instead, how does that sound?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. Sirius broke into a grin.

"Lily, you're an amazing woman, do you know that?"

"Yes, Sirius."

"And I swear, if you weren't a happily married woman I'd claim you for myself…but I know you're happily married…in fact _very _happily married…Prongs shared with us the details."

"_All _the details," Peter piped up, breaking his gaze from the screen.

"It was almost pornographic at times," Remus said, and then went red as Lily blinked at him, her mouth open in shock.

"But you should expect that," Sirius responded.

"To marry one Marauder …" they chanted together.

"Is to marry them all," Lily finished, rolling her emerald eyes once more.

Lily phoned for pizza ("Don't forget Moony thinks he's vegetarian." "I am!" "We'll see, Remus, we'll see") and handed out the bottled beers to her husband's friends. Lily fetched herself a glass of water and squeezed onto the sofa in between Remus and Sirius. She laid her weary head onto Remus' shoulder and closed her eyes.

"When's our Jamie lad home?" Sirius enquired as he took a swag of his drink. He felt Lily shrug next to him.

"Dunno," she mumbled, her eyes still closed.

"Probably with his lover," Peter teased. "His mistress, his scarlet woman!"

Sirius sniggered and dribbled drink down his front, before scowling at Peter who was obviously to blame!

"Probably," Lily said sleepily. "That's just like James though. He's got two, maybe more women on the go at once, and here's you three without a lass to share between you." Her words caused a stunned silence between the Marauders.

"We have you," Remus muttered indignantly. Lily blinked up at him and flashed him a grin.

The doorbell rang and Peter leapt up with surprising speed.

"Peter will only run for food," Sirius mocked.

He shuffled back in, carrying three stacked boxes.

"One 'vegetarian'…until next week."

"Seriously guys, I'm sticking at it this time," Remus insisted with a scowl as he accepted his box.

"One…I'm not sure what this is."

"If it's meaty, it's mine," Sirius grinned and then wrinkled his nose. "Hey, how come yours is bigger than mine?"

"Some men are just blessed that way," Peter commented casually and Remus laughed. Sirius' face fell.

"Peter…humour…no! I mean your pizza."

"I'm sharing with Lily," Peter pointed out, and went to sit by Lily's feet.

The room fell silent as the men ate eagerly. Lily accepted a slice and then passed on the rest.

"More for you, Pete. I'm sure you're not complaining," Sirius said snidely.

"Are you alright, Lily?" Remus asked, after eying up a slice of Sirius' meat-covered pizza. The witch nodded and took a sip of her water.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm just a bit under the weather at the moment. Must be a cold or something…a tummy bug." Her words in the air, and Sirius dropped his half-eaten slice back into its box noisily. He chewed slowly and thoughtfully, unfortunately showing the contents of his mouth as he did so. A sudden grin spread across his face and he swallowed quickly.

"What's the date today?" he asked suddenly and received frowns in return.

"Uh…the December 4th," Remus supplied. "Why?" Sirius ignored his friend and turned to Lily.

"You must be on your period then?" he asked. Lily was taken aback. She went as red as her hair.

"Sirius!" Remus and Peter exclaimed together, wearing similar expressions of disgust.

"Do you know _everything_ about me?" Lily snapped heatedly. Sirius nodded casually.

"Yeah, pretty much. Bra size: 34 B, a bit small for my liking but–" he gave a dismissive shrug. "Favourite alcoholic beverage: Pimms and lemonade, a classy lady. Favourite month: June, Merlin knows why!" He paused, looking smug. Lily blinked at him, apprehensively. "And…I do believe, Lily Evans Hyphen Potter, that you are with child."

Peter and Remus stared wide-eyed at Sirius and then turned to regard Lily. The woman gave a nervous laugh. Sirius raised his eyebrows questioningly. Lily looked down to her knees and gave a small sigh. She nodded slightly. Sirius saw immediately, and jumped up from his seat, sending pizza flying.

"Ah ha! I knew it!" When no one else spoke, the man felt foolish and sat back down, regaining his composure … and dinner. Remus blinked several times and then stuttered a question.

"Are…are you really…pregnant?" Lily nodded again and risked a brief smile. Remus pulled her in to a one-armed hug. "Well, that's great! Congratulations!"

"Yeah, way to go Lily. And Prongs too!" Peter said from down by her feet. "I assume he's the father." Lily jabbed a toe into his ribcage and he move away with a laugh.

"Bagsy Godfather!" Sirius shouted and the other two men groaned.

"Sirius, you can't bagsy something like that," Remus protested. "It will have to be Lily and James' decision."

"Yeah, and they'll pick me…because I bagsied it!" Sirius said hotly.

"Guys, guys. You can all be Godfathers," Lily interjected.

"Except for Pete, he can be a fairy Godmother," Sirius snickered, pushing his friend jovially to the ground. Peter grimaced but decided to take the high ground and say nothing.

"I can't believe Prongs kept this from us! What did he say when you told him?" Sirius asked excitedly. Lily's eyes flickered nervously.

"Well…"

"Whoooa, he doesn't know, does he!" Sirius grinned. "Oooh, bagsy I tell him!"

"Sirius!" Remus barked. "You bagsy anything once more tonight and you can go home!"

Sirius slumped back down into the sofa, putting his feet onto the table to bring his knees to his chest. He crossed his arms with a huff and glared at Remus.

"Thank you, Sirius, but I will be telling James…soon."

"Well…can we be there when you do?" Peter asked hopefully. Lily laughed but this worried her further. Did they, the Marauders, James' brothers, know how he would react better than herself, his wife? She swallowed and shrugged.

"We'll see," she said quietly.

Remus turned to Sirius, who was still sulking like a teenager.

"Pad, how did you know?" he asked, and Sirius sat up straight once more, with pride.

"Well, the soft drinks and the 'tummy bug' comment were major hints…but you seem to forget Moony, that when you three were at Hogwarts studying the Art of Magic…I was studying the Art of Women," he told his friend with a grin. "Women to me are like books to you," he tried to explain. Remus frowned, and began to retaliate when the sound of the front door could be heard ... James was home.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: So this is the final installment of this crazy fic. Let me know what you thought. Can I pull off humour or shall I just not try to be funny ever again? Thanks for reading : )

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Previously on Baby Blues: James was home... 

All four froze and glanced to the living room door. Lily's eyes were wide with panic.

"Shh, guys ok," she hissed as they began to giggle, stacking their pizza boxes 'neatly' onto the table, next to their growing collection of empty bottles. The three wizards sat rather correctly, with their hands in their laps. A fake smile was plastered on each of their faces. Lily bit her lip in worry, and then joined them in a fake smile as James' voice could be heard.

"Hi, honey I'm home!" The dark haired wizard froze at the door, at the sight of such strange expressions.

"Hey sugarplum," Sirius squeaked. James grinned at him and then crossed to peck his wife on the cheek. After a pause, he kissed Sirius on the head, and then Remus, before ruffling Peter's hair as he passed him.

"Just what I like to see when I get home. All four of my wives getting along…Um, guys, why are you all grinning at me like that?"

"Coz you're a sly dog," Sirius mumbled and Lily elbowed him hard in the gut.

"What?" James asked in confusion.

"I said…because we've just had pizza," Sirius said lamely. James raised his eyebrows.

"Right," he said slowly. Something was definitely going on…_best to press Peter; he'll be the first to crack._

"Have a good day at work?" Lily asked quickly. James nodded mildly.

"Yeah not bad. Oh, I saw Sarah earlier." Lily's stomach gave a jolt. "She asked me to pass on a message… 'Do it tonight, or face my wrath,'" the man quoted and then shrugged. "She said you'd know what it meant." Lily nodded slightly to her husband but said nothing. Peter began to giggle. James shot him a puzzled glance.

"Something funny, Wormy?"

"Uh…"

"Well?"

"Yeah, Wormy, well?" Sirius joined in and then cowered as Lily glared at him.

"Remus is vegetarian," Peter announced. James crinkled his nose.

"What? Not again, Remus!" He rolled his dark eyes and Remus folded his arms defensively.

James rummaged through the stacked pizza box until he discovered a few untouched slices.

"Oh, I was talking to Arthur Weasley today in the elevator, have you met him?" he asked out of mild interest, Lily shook her head, as did the others. "He works on Level Two, MMA. Anyway, he was telling me how he has five sons, five! And his wife's pregnant with another."

"Fancy that!" Sirius shrieked wildly. James glanced at him curiously and then continued.

"They're trying for a girl, but his wife's just been for a check up at St Mungo's and has been told that it's another boy. Weasley was saying that he doubts it'll be the last!" James gave a laugh. "She's due in March…He's a nice enough man, actually. Bit obsessed with Muggles…you'd like him Lil. I pity him actually. Six sons! Makes me glad it's just us two…well and these leeches of course." He indicated to his best mates. Lily's face fell, she tried to hide her disappointment but it was too apparent. Sirius cringed, Remus looked away and rubbing the back of his neck with a hand. Peter bit his lip and looked anywhere but James' confused gaze.

"Alright guys…what's going on? You're being weird…weirder than usual. Tell me!" Silence. "Remus?" The man pretended he hadn't heard his name. "Sirius?"

"I'm ignorant," he exclaimed.

"Peter…Come on Pete, something's going on. I know you know." _Break him, Potter. Break him!_ "You…you're not keeping anything from me, are you Peter? I thought we were mates." James stuck out his bottom in a hurt expression. Peter wrung his hands, and twittered nervously before screwing his face up in weakness.

"Lily's pregnant!"

The room fell silent before Sirius and Remus pounded on him.

"Peter!" they exclaimed together. Sirius gave a 'humph' of annoyance.

"Damn you Pettigrew, damn you and your disability to keep quiet. Hang your head in shame, brother."

Lily, however, had not broken her gaze from her husband since the announcement was made. She wanted to see his reaction, which at the moment consisted of a dropped jaw and unblinking brown eyes.

"Jamie say something," she said quietly. The Marauders fell silent, eagerly awaiting a response.

"I, uh…Can I speak to you in the kitchen please, Lil?' James' voice was strained. He rose from his seat and passed them without a second glance. Lily looked on the verge of tears. She followed her husband out of the room.

"Aw, do it in here!" Sirius called after them but to no avail. He shrugged and reached for the remote. The men began to sway to the adverts once more.

Once Lily entered the kitchen, James spun around to regard her.

"Well? Is it true?" His tone was almost harsh and Lily looked to the floor. A tear leaked from her eye and she sniffed. James paused watching her. He crossed the room and enveloped her into a hug.

"Are you mad?" she sniffled into his chest and he gave a laugh.

"Of course I'm not!" he exclaimed, kissing her lightly on the top of her head. "This is great!"

Lily pulled away from him and beamed up at her husband.

"Really?"

"Yes, really. I can't believe you'd think I wouldn't be." Lily's cheeks pinked in embarrassment. "I just had to check that the lads weren't having me on."

"I wanted to tell you first Jamie, I really did. But Sirius guessed–"

"Ah, years of studying the Art of Women have their uses." He smiled down at her and then kissed her lightly on the lips. "Don't cry, sweetheart. Be happy. We're going to have a family, you me and…James junior."

Lily crinkled her nose but giggled.

The Potters made their way back into the living room, and the three Marauders sat up attentively.

"She's still alive!" Peter squealed.

"Yes she's still alive," James said, rolling his eyes at his friend's stupidity. "And…I guess we're having a baby," he told his friends with a grin. The men jumped up and formed a tight group hug around the expecting couple.

"Yay!" Sirius shouted for no apparent reason. James was laughing at him.

"Uh, guys…pregnant lady in here," Lily's voice came from the middle of the scrum. The men murmured embarrassed apologies and broke away casually.

"Well," James said with a sigh. "I guess now I have to break the news to my parents."

"Bagsy, I–"

"SIRIUS!"

"Sorry," he mumbled but the group laughed. James put his arm around Lily and she gave a sigh of contentment.

"That's one more mouth to feed," Lily joked. "If it's a boy, that'd bring the total up to four sons. We're catching up with the Weasleys." James laughed but his friends scowled indignantly. And what a family they'd be! But James couldn't wait…he was going to be a daddy.


End file.
